Enter your search terms Submit search form Web www.siteforarticles.com

Print | Send To Friends | Add To Favorites | Comment

The Bare truth About My Butt Quiz By: Timothy Ward Article Word Count: 624 words  [Comments (0)] Total Views: 3 Views

Forget about the SAT, never mind the FCAT, and remove forever from you mind any thoughts about the ACT. All these test pale in comparision to the examination that I just failed. Failing those test may have minor repurcussions like never making it into college and therefore being forced to work at fast food resturants well into you 40's. That's nothing. I just flunked a quiz that could scar me for life. This morning I was doing my usual morning ritual of checking my email and all my affiliate programs to see if I had made any money online yesterday. I hadn't, in fact I never do, but I've found it's a great way to waste an hour or two. What usually happens is I get sidetracked by some banner or pop-up and I end up lost in the middle of cyberspace signing up for a free registration to some weird website just so I can get a free ebook with a title like 'Online Profits From Artichoke Juice!". This morning, however, I stumbled across a real winner. I came across a link that I just had to click. I was at JokesUnlimited.com reading redneck jokes when I saw 'Fun Quizzes: Can you guess which butts are male or female? From the extreme look of excitement in your eyes I can tell that you feel the same way I felt when I saw the Butt Quiz link. My first thought was: 'Pictures of female butts! Yeeeessss! And it's a quiz so I don't have to feel dirty about it. It's educational! Yeeeesssss! I immediately clicked the link and started my quiz. In hindsight(no pun intended), the expression 'Fools Rush In' comes to mind. I blindly rushed into this quiz in a testosterone induced urge to look at female hindparts and I forgot to think the whole thing through. I forgot to take a moment and reflect. I forgot that there were going to be male hindparts on the quiz too. Hairy male hindparts. In thongs. Needless to say, I failed the quiz. I got 8 out of 15 right. That's about 60 percent. An 'F' in almost all 50 states. Even New Jersey. I, Tim Ward, humor columnist and straight male could not distinguish between the gluteus maximus of the male and female gender. I started to wonder: Were some of the butts that I said were female really male? If so, does that mean I find some men's butts attractive? Do I have a male butt fetsih that I didn't know about? Do I secretly enjoy slapping guys on the butt after a good sports play? And what about the woman's butts that I classified incorrectly? Has it really been that long since I've seen a bare female behind? Am I forgetting what the female body looks like? All these questions have been running through my head since I failed my first Butt Quiz. It got to the point where I'm thinking about scheduling a retest. But this time I'll be sure to plenty of studying in advance. So ladies, if you see me taking large hard looks at your posterior region, I'm not a pervert, I'm just doing a little research. And to the fellas, forgive me if I give more that the usual amount of congratulatory butt slaps on the basketball court for awhile. I'm just trying to further my education...And maybe work through a fetish or two. You can take the Butt Quiz for yourself at:http://www.jokesunlimited.com/buttquiz.php About the author: Tim Ward invites you to subscribe to his weekly humor column 'I Never Said I Was Normal' so that you can get a regular does of him in your inbox. Visit: http://www.timward.1afm.com

Print | Send To Friends | Add To Favorites | Comment

Related articles

How NOT to handle bad breath By: Kingston Amadan - We've all been there.
 
Just Horsing Around By: Deanna Mascle - 1.
 
The Finer Points of Poverty By: Timothy Ward - I'm poor.
 
Travel Jokes By: Nomad Rick - Traveling can be a humbling experience, particularly when you travel to a foreign country.
 
Adult Swim - You Must Be This High To Ride This Ride By: Chad Koch - 1.
 
5 Reasons Why You Should Quit Your Day Job By: Timothy Ward - Most of us would stop working if we could.
 
Under A Cuban Moon By: Bill Dollar - HAVANA,May 20 (www.
 
Warning: This Article is a Waste of Time By: Timothy Ward - Today's topic, ladies and gentleman, is: Time.
 
Timothy Ward IS Hotter Than You By: Timothy Ward - Inspiration for the articles I write does not always come instantly.
 
Songwriter Confessions #2 By: Bill Dollar - Any real Beatle fan knows that Stu Sutcliffe was the original bass player,who died of a brain embolism before the Beatles became famous.
 
Songwriter Confessions #1 By: Bill Dollar - Looking up this week from getting a reggae backing to sound like St Ann rather than St Felicity, I spotted the small dark mist in the usual corner behind the left monitor speaker.
 
Sweet Trap By: Kevin N - Last week, I came across a voice chat room, which was full of impressive nicknames.
 
Political Humor: Are You A Dittohead? By: Britt Gillette - - Years ago, Rush Limbaugh coined the term "adult beverages" to refer to alcoholic drinks.
 
Mr. Handyman By: Gary Mosher - First thing Saturday morning I decided to fix the washing machine.
 
You may be in love if... By: Jan Michaels - One of the most common human experiences that two or more (depending on how ambitious you are) people can share is love.